.... Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain".

Leo Buscaglia

 

"Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you."

Vipin Sharma

"If you have love, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have."

Sir James M. Barrie

Fall in Love

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what gets you out of bed in the mornings, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

Father Pedro Arrupe, 1907-1991

Spanish Priest, Doctor and Social Activist

When Christ said that man does not live by bread alone, he spoke of a hunger. This hunger was not the hunger of the body. It was not the hunger for bread. He spoke of a hunger that begins deep down in the very depths of our being. He spoke of a need as vital as breath. He spoke of our hunger for love.

Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look out confidently at the world...

But with love, we are creative. With it, we march tirelessly. With it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.

Chief Dan George, 1899-1981

Native Canadian Indian Tribal Leader

 

Have Fun, Life is Short

Life is like the waves it has its ups and downs

Life is like a roller coaster it has its twists and turns

Life is like a sport it just depends on what we play

Life is like a game of poker it just depends on what we are dealt

Life can be given life can be taken

Life can be a curse life can be a blessing

Life can be a pain life can be in sain

Life has its ways life has its days

Life has its love life has its hate

Life has its gentler touch but it has its harder punch

Life brings you your knees when you feel in need

Life brings you a lot of things

but in the end it depends on what we do

By Tom Le Guilcher

Forward Moving - In Carriage and in Life

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.

Helen Keller, 1880-1968

American Author and Social Activist

Look to the Light

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

Albert Schweitzer

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.

Reflections

Thirty years ago today my divorce was final.  Not my choice.  Still hurts.  Always will.  For, loss is hard.  Losing my soulmate, a killer.  Of hopes and dreams.  Spirit and sensual pleasures.  All gone.  Forever.

Today I had a hard time getting it in gear.  Getting up, getting going, keeping it going, finding interest in anything I tried to do.  Inertia set in.  Big time.  Went to a few garage sales.  Picked up a few odds and ends, little thngs, not much to talk about, really.  Scotch tape, tiny gold safety pins, scissors, a ball of twine, nothing fascinating, romantic or enticing.  Kinda like how I feel.  After 30 years of being alone. . .and counting.

It's ironic, but I borrowed 4 DVD's from the library produced by, Spiritual Cinema, an outlet that offers films that are about spiritual issues in the way of life choices, dilemmas, and other conflicts about the human spirit.  Of the four flicks I borrowed, I chose one (randomly) to watch this evening called, Tara Road. 

It was about two women who decide to swap houses after meeting crises head-on.  The first woman, "Marilyn", played by Andie MacDowell, who lives in a posh house in Connecticut, watches her son crash his motorcycle into their swimming pool and drown.  The second lady,
Ria, lives in Dublin, Ireland and is told by her husband that he's having an affair and got the woman pregnant and loves her and is leaving.

They swap houses and have adventures in respective countries with each other's friends and colleagues.  They learn life lessons about forgiving, moving on and growing as humn beings through crises.  Ria learns what a schmuck her husband is, even though she loved, trusted and had two children with him, and Marilyn learns that life goes on after losing a child.  Both women are transformed in important ways.

At the end of the film there's a discussion and 5 questions designed to stimulate self-reflection and growth.  Two of the questions really resonated with me. 

1)  How have you healed from painful, "non-negotiable" events in your life?

2)  How important  is it to simply have a witness for one's healing?  Who has played the witness in you own life?

In all honesty, I haven't fully recovered from my divorce and doubt I will, totally.  I suppose I've "healed" just by the passage of time.  Like wounds that scar over, mine are old but still there.  And, as far as having someone "witness" my healing, that hasn't really happened.  Although I've been to therapy, no one has really connected in a meaningful way for witnessing, resolving and moving on.  Hopefully, that'll still happen and maybe, then, I can move on better than I have limping along on my own.

I found it very synchonistic that, of all the films to borrow and watch, I picked the one where one woman's husband left her for another.  And, of course, losing a child is the worst loss one can experience.  Both losses, any such deep losses, are traumatic and take a long time to get over--if ever. 

Another irony is that my dark Calico kitty, Sweetie Pie, was in bed snuggled close to me, during the whole film and for some time afterward.  She never left my side and was curled up and cuddling with me as if she knew Mommy was upset or sad.  Animals have a sixth sense of knowing such things, and I believe that's why Sweetie Pie was by my side for hours this evening.  Perhaps my best "witness."

For, in order to heal, I believe the witness needs to be someone who truly cares not just som hired gun--therapists included.  Rather, someone who likes me, is sincerely concerned about my happiness and welfare and who wants to be involved.  A dispassionate ear doesn't count
nor does a gratuituous one.  It has to be from someone who cares and wants to be involved.

And, that hasn't happened.  I haven't been privileged enough to meet anyone who cares enough to really connect and want to be that witness or sympathetic shoulder to lean on, talk to about my divorce and start to heal deeply.  I keep hoping but, in the 30 years, my closest confidantes have been my pets.  I am grateful for each and every one of them and, somehow,
they seem to know my ups and downs even though we speak different languages.

For, the heart knows, and two hearts in love always connect.  Such is life with my animals.
Although they can't respond back verbally, the closeness and connection I felt from Sweetie Pie tonight said it all.  She was my witness.  She is my rock.  They are all my healers and helpers, my light and my loves.