Today is the birthday of documentary filmmaker Ken Burns (1953). He was born in Brooklyn, New York, but he grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where his father was a professor at the University of Michigan. He studied film and design at Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts, and his first major documentary film was Brooklyn Bridge in 1981. He was nominated for an Academy Award and set on his path as a documentarian of American history and culture.

It's his 11-hour television miniseries The Civil War (1990) that made his name. Because he used so many still photographs from the period, he came up with the idea to give a sense of movement by panning over the photos, or zooming slowly in on a particular detail. The technique has come to be known as "the Burns effect."

He's since produced lengthy documentaries on jazz (2001), World War II (2007), the National Parks (2009), and two series about baseball (1994 and 2010). Most of his work appears first on public television, and he's signed an agreement with PBS to supply them with material well into the next decade. His next project, which airs this fall, is about Prohibition, and future projects are said to include documentaries about the Roosevelts, the Dust Bowl, and the Vietnam War.

He told the Los Angeles Times: "All truth is manipulated, because the universe is chaotic. What we divine from it is the superimposition of some kind of order, whether it's religion, superstition, story and art, literature, science — all of them are an attempt to keep the wolf from the door. And that wolf is the panic of chaos."

For the Benefit of All

Everyday, think as you wake up,
'Today I am fortunate to have woken up,
I am alive,
I have a precious human life,
I am not going to waste it.

I am going to use all my energies
to develop myself,
to expand my heart out to others,
to achieve enlightenment
for the benefit of all beings.'

Tenzin Gyatso

14th Dalai Lama of Tibet

No Time Like The Present

If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer. Every moment is the most important moment of your life. No future time is better than now to let down your guard and love.

David Deida

American Author and Teacher

Drugstore

by Carl Dennis

Don't be ashamed that your parents
Didn't happen to meet at an art exhibit
Or at a protest against a foreign policy
Based on fear of negotiation,
But in an aisle of a discount drugstore,
Near the antihistamine section,
Seeking relief from the common cold.
You ought to be proud that even there,
Amid coughs and sneezes,
They were able to peer beneath
The veil of pointless happenstance.
Here is someone, each thought,
Able to laugh at the indignities
That flesh is heir to. Here
Is a person one might care about.
Not love at first sight, but the will
To be ready to endorse the feeling
Should it arise. Had they waited
For settings more promising,
You wouldn't be here,
Wishing things were different.
Why not delight at how young they were
When they made the most of their chances,
How young still, a little later,
When they bought a double plot
At the cemetery. Look at you,
Twice as old now as they were
When they made arrangements,
And still you're thinking of moving on,
Of finding a town with a climate
Friendlier to your many talents.
Don't be ashamed of the homely thought
That whatever you might do elsewhere,
In the time remaining, you might do here
If you can resolve, at last, to pay attention.

"Drugstore" by Carl Dennis, from Callings. © Penguin Poets, 2010. Reprinted with permission

45 Tips for a Happy Life

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old. This is something we
should all read at least once a week!!!!!

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life
taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column
once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way
you think.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Release your children when they become adults, it's their
life now
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second
one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't
take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Just because you believe you are right, doesn't mean you are.
Keep an open mind.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26.. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five
years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should
love.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43.. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Borders Books Closes

Borders: Our home away from home, finding Ann Arbor wherever we go

By Frances Kai-Hwa Wang, Jul 25, 2011 12:52 PM

A few years ago at Ann Arbor Art Fair, the police had gotten tipped off that our most notorious photographer, Harvey, was planning a big photo shoot of several nudes in front of the State Theater. The police were waiting when Harvey arrived with his models. Harvey and the crowd were indignant, shouting, “It’s tradition!” (for Harvey to take a photo every year during Art Fair).
The police were unimpressed with their protests.

This year, the news that comes in with Art Fair is that Borders is really closing. Not just bankruptcy, which we had convinced ourselves was a temporary legal maneuver, but it is really closing.

Liquidating. Even the downtown store is up for lease.

When I read the news about Borders, my 15-year-old daughter Hao Hao shouted, “NOOOOOO!” pause, “I have to post it on Facebook.”

She cannot imagine an Ann Arbor without Borders — it’s tradition — but the Michigan economy is equally unimpressed with her protests.

When I first moved to Ann Arbor, there was only one cafe (Espresso Royale on State Street, and Borders was only one store.

But what a store it was.

Located on State Street then, it was a wonder. Every week, my classmate Brian would report to the other graduate students the latest books that had arrived in the philosophy section and his latest conversation with the Borders employee who stocked that section.

Most philosophy sections in “normal” bookstores had only Joseph Campbell and the I Ching. We could not believe that this bookstore had a full wall — a huge wall — of real analytic philosophy books, the real thing, and lots of it.

In those days, to get a job at Borders, one had to pass a literature test that was rumored to be so hard that most English graduate students could not pass it. Needless to say, the folks who worked at Borders were like rock stars to us graduate students.

When my housemate Sharon befriended a Borders employee who then brought other Borders employees to our house parties, the other guests were so very impressed with us. Nerds all our lives, Sharon and I joked that this was the closest we had ever come to being popular.

When people we knew started dating Borders employees, well, that was the only thing we really needed to know before we started oohing and ahhing, “He works at Borders.”

Then I went overseas for four years, just as one Borders employee I knew moved away to go open Borders 2. When I returned, I found that there was a Borders in every town. Even nonacademics — normal people — like my brother went to Borders and talked about Borders.

Borders quickly became my family’s place to find birthday and Christmas presents, hear authors like Iris Chang and David Sedaris, fundraise for Emerson School, attend the Harry Potter midnight book release party, research new interests, do homework with the children, hang out before and after shows at the Michigan Theater. It was always our last stop before every long plane ride. (Whenever we visited relatives in other cities, it was our place to get away from those relatives when necessary and be ourselves again for a few hours.)

The Borders where my parents live closed last summer. The children and I used to go there all the time. Now it is a Walgreens. My parents do not understand what the children and I are upset about — Borders closing. For them, Borders was just a bookstore that closed a long time ago.

However, for us, because we are from Ann Arbor, it was our home away from home.

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang is a second-generation Chinese American from California who now divides her time between Michigan and the Big Island of Hawaii. She is an editor of IMDiversity.com Asian American Village, lead multicultural contributor for AnnArbor.com, a contributor for New America Media's Ethnoblog, and a contributor for Chicago is the World. She is on the Advisory Board of American Citizens for Justice. She team-teaches "Asian Pacific American History and the Law" at University of Michigan and University of Michigan Dearborn. She is a popular speaker on Asian Pacific American and multicultural issues. Check out her website at franceskaihwawang.com, her blog at franceskaihwawang.blogspot.com, and she can be reached at fkwang888@gmail.com.

Dog-Friendly Cities

Doggone Fun! DogFriendly.com’s 2011 Top 10 Dog-Friendly Cities to Visit In the U.S.

DogFriendly.com’s Top 10 Dog-Friendly Cities in the United States for 2011 give you a wide variety of pet-friendly places to visit.

Portland Oregon tops DogFriendly.com’s 2011 list of the pet-friendliest vacation cities in the United States. Home to the famous and dog-friendly Rose Gardens and the Lucky Lab you and your dog would have a great time in Portland. These top cities are chosen for their pet-friendly accommodations, transportation, beaches, park, attractions, stores, dining and more. Here are the remainder of this year’s Top 10:

2. Chicago – Visit the Navy Pier, dine in elegance, cruise on a pet-friendly tour boat or walk the parks of the city.

3. San Diego – The country’s best dog beaches and trails and world class pet-friendly shopping centers.

4. Seattle – Take public transportation with your leashed dog. Many pet-friendly venues in a dog-friendly city.

5. Philadelphia – Get a famous cheese steak. See historic early American sites and stay in a downtown luxurious hotel.

6. Minneapolis – Great hiking trails and parks, pet-friendly dining. A pet-friendly atmosphere throughout.

7. Austin – Dog-Friendly parks. Outdoor cafes. Take tours and see the sites. See the Zilker Gardens and the Congress Street bats.

8. Alexandria/ Washington D.C. – See the capital’s sites, walk in charming Old Town, take a dog cruise on the Potomac.

9. New York – Luxury hotels welcome dogs, Central park beckons, off-leash parks everywhere. Shop the famous stores with your dog.

10. Indianapolis – Many historical sites, Nature preserves, trails and parks. Many of the cities tourist sites can be viewed with a dog.

Honorable Mentions: Charlotte, Dallas, Nashville, Orlando, Raleigh.

Since 1998, DogFriendly.com has been providing information for people who travel with Dogs world-wide.  Find the dog-friendly guides on the web, as a free iPhone app, Android app and mobile website and as paperback books and Kindle, Nook and other ebooks.

Zelda

It's the birthday of Zelda Fitzgerald (books by this author), born Zelda Sayre in 1900. Her father was a judge in Montgomery, Alabama, and her mother was a nonconformist housewife. Zelda was a wild child, larger than life, and many times she was only saved from disgrace by her family's reputation and social standing. Her childhood friend Eleanor Addison wrote: "By day she was healthy and hoydenish, a veritable dynamo, by night a beautiful enchantress. ... When she commandeered a streetcar and went clanging down Court Street with the befuddled motorman practically hanging on the ropes, the town criers lifted their eyes to the heavens and said, 'disgraceful.' When she danced like an angel in a pink ballet costume at some charity affair, the same town criers murmured, 'beautiful.'"

She met F. Scott Fitzgerald (books by this author) at a dance in 1918, and they were both smitten. She refused to marry him, though, until he published his first book. She assured him that she loved him, and that he shouldn't worry if she flirted with other men a little bit. "Don't you think I was made for you? I feel like you had me ordered — and I was delivered to you — to be worn — I want you to wear me like a watch-chain or button-hole bouquet — to the world."

They married in 1920, and they were the standard-bearers for the Jazz Age: beautiful, glamorous, and free. By the end of the decade, Scott had descended into alcoholism, and Zelda had descended into madness. She had her first schizophrenic breakdown in 1930, and spent the rest of her life in and out of mental institutions. She died in 1948, eight years after her husband, in a fire at the Highland Hospital in Asheville, North Carolina.

Scott Fitzgerald said: "I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self-respect and it's these things I'd believe in even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all that she should be. ... I love her and that's the beginning and the end of it."

First Car Sold

On this date in 1903, the Ford Motor Company sold its first car. The first Model A went to Dr. Ernst Pfennig of Chicago, Illinois. He was a dentist, and he had placed his order for the $850 automobile the week before. The car was manufactured in Detroit, at the company's Mack Street plant. The car boasted a two-cylinder, eight-horsepower engine, and could move at speeds approaching 30 miles per hour. It had two forward gears, and one reverse. Dr. Pfennig ordered his with a tonneau, which we now know as a back seat. It was a convertible — the top didn't come standard — and it was painted red. All the original Model A's were red, in fact. The Fords that were available "in any color you want, as long as it's black" came later.

Within two months of Pfennig's order, Ford Motor Company had sold 215 cars. Within the first year, they sold almost a thousand. This was the original Model A. The next model to be produced was the Model C, which came out the following year, and then the Model T, which came out in 1908 and was sold until 1927. Ford used all the letters of the alphabet from A to T, but not all of them were manufactured and sold; most were just prototypes.

After the Model T, he came up with a design so different and new that he didn't want to just move on to the letter U; he wanted to start over at the beginning of the alphabet. And so a second, and better-known, Ford automobile known as the Model A was sold from 1927 to 1931.

Things We Can't Control - Daily OM

July 21, 2011
Things We Can’t Control
Allow, Trust

We develop grace as we learn with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should.

The idea of trusting the universe is a popular one these days, but many of us don’t know what this really means and we often have a hard time doing it. This is partly because the story of humankind is most often presented as a story about struggle, control, and survival, instead of one of trust and collaboration with the universe. Yet, in truth, we need to adhere to both ideas in this life.

On the one hand, there is much to be said about exerting control over our environment. We created shelter to protect ourselves from the elements. We hunted for animals and invented agriculture to feed ourselves. We built social infrastructures to protect ourselves and create community. This is how we survive and grow as a civilization. However, it is also clear that there are plenty of things that we cannot control, no matter how hard we try, and we often receive support from an unseen force – a universe that provides us with what we cannot provide for ourselves.

It is a good idea to take responsibility for the things in life that we can control or create. We work so we can feed, clothe, and shelter our loved ones and ourselves. We manifest our dreams and visions in physical form with hard work and forethought. But at a certain point, when we have done all that we can, we must let go and allow the universe to take over. This requires trust. It requires a trust that runs deeper than just expecting things to turn out the way we want them to. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won’t. We develop equanimity and grace as we learn to trust that, with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should. We are engaged in an ongoing relationship with a universe that responds to our thoughts and actions.

Disneyland Opened Today in 1955

On this day in 1955, the first Disney theme park opened to the public in Anaheim, California. It was called "Disneyland," and Walt Disney funded it in large part with the help of the American Broadcasting Company; in return, he gave them a share of the profits and the rights to produce a weekly Disney-themed television program.
The park was divided up into themed areas: Main Street, U.S.A., which evoked the American Midwest of the early 20th century; Fantasyland, which was based on some of Disney's animated features like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White; Adventureland, which had a jungle theme; Frontierland, celebrating life on America's frontier; and Tomorrowland, which contained all of the 1950s optimism, and none of the fears, about the future.

Walt Disney dedicated the park at the invitation-only international press preview on July 17, saying, "To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world."

Unfortunately, the preview was a disaster: it was over 100 degrees that day, the drinking fountains didn't work, the asphalt melted, there was a gas leak, and the vendors ran out of food. There were 11,000 invitees, but more than 17,000 additional visitors showed up bearing counterfeit tickets. It was so bad that Disney later claimed that the next day, July 18, was the real "Opening Day."

Authors

It's the birthday of the novelist who said, "I feel I could get into the Guinness Book of Records as the world's loneliest, most miserable woman." That's Anita Brookner (books by this author), born in London (1928). She writes novels about lonely characters, so everyone wrongly assumes that she is writing about herself. She said: "Well, I am a spinster. I make no apologies for that. But I'm neither unhappy nor lonely. I am interested in people who live on their own, people who get left behind, who drop through the net, but who survive. They seem to me quite heroic characters sometimes, but no one inquires about them because they're people who do without much conversation, whose loudest moments are internal."

She did have a lonely childhood — she had no brothers and sisters, and her parents were unhappy. Her father was an unsuccessful businessman. Her mother had given up a successful career as a singer to marry her father and was never sure that it was a good decision. Anita loved reading and art. Her father gave her two Dickens novels every year for her birthday and Christmas until she had read every single one. The Brookners lived near an art museum, and she spent every Sunday afternoon there looking at paintings.

She went to college and graduate school to study art history, which worried her parents — they were concerned that she would never find a husband if she became an academic. When she insisted anyway and got offered a scholarship to study in Paris, her parents disowned her. But she loved Paris. She said: "I lived in a hotel, which is an ideal existence. You have no responsibilities. You eat out; you don't make your bed. You go off to work every morning — and I was completely immersed in the work. I've never been so happy."

She moved back to Britain and became an art historian and professor. For many years, she was a popular and respected teacher, but when she was in her 50s, she started to worry about what she would do after she retired. She liked to read fiction, so she decided to try writing a novel. Her first novel, A Start in Life (1981), was published when she was 53.

After that, for many years she published exactly one new novel every summer. She writes her novels out in longhand, then types them up, and writes only one draft. Overall, she has published 24 novels in the past 30 years. She said, "My real work was as a teacher and an academic, and I loved it. This is really just filling the time."

Her novels include Hotel du Lac (1984), which won the Booker Prize; Undue Influence (1999); The Rules of Engagement (2003); and most recently, Strangers (2009). She said, "I suppose what one wants really is ideal company and books are ideal company."

It was on this day in 1951 that The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (books by this author) was published. After he finished the manuscript, Salinger sent a copy to Robert Giroux, who was then a young editor at Harcourt, Brace. Giroux thought the novel was brilliant and agreed to publish it. He showed Catcher in the Rye to his boss, Eugene Reynal, who didn't like it at all. Giroux described their meeting: "Gene said, The kid is disturbed. I said, Well, that's all right. He is, but it's a great novel. He said, Well, I felt that I had to show it to the textbook department. The textbook department? He said, Well, it's about a kid in prep school isn't it? I'm waiting for their reply. I said, It doesn't matter what their reply is, Gene. We have a contract for the book. [...] The textbook people's report came back, and it said, This book is not for us, try Random House." The whole situation upset Robert Giroux so much that he quit Harcourt, Brace, and got a job with Farrar, Straus, & Company — which is now known as Farrar, Straus & Giroux.

Salinger had to find a new publisher, and Little, Brown made him an offer. Salinger turned out to be a difficult author to work with. He wanted his friend Michael Mitchell to design the cover. He wanted the jacket redone because he thought his photograph on the back was too large. He told Little, Brown that they couldn't sent out any promotional copies because he didn't want any publicity. They eventually managed to convince Salinger to change his mind on most counts, but he wasn't happy about it.

Despite Salinger's hesitations about publicity, The Catcher in the Rye was a sensation. It became a best-seller almost immediately, reaching No. 1 on the New York Times best-seller list after two weeks. It has sold more than 65 million copies.

The Catcher in the Rye begins: "If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

Poem from HSP Friend - We Are Like Orchids, Yes, It's True

Tonight I’m feeling cranky
And all the world seems blue.
The neighbor’s going bankrupt
Our government is, too.

The old cat yowls so loudly
And then she wants my love
Who can love a cat like this?
I move her with a shove.

The orchid is so fragile
And needs such tender care;
The dandelions — defiant
“Kill us, if you dare!”

My cat she’s like the orchid
And I’m an orchid, too.
Kindness and acceptance
Yield a lovely hue.

Are politicians dandelions
All show and blustery puff?
My censure goes to DC’s crowd:
Is compromise so tough?

Karen Williamson http://jozie9. wordpress. com

Life is an Adventure

If you are alive there is inconvenience.
If you are alive there are challenges...
Reality has no security and that is its beauty.
Life has no security and that is its beauty.
Because there is no security, there is adventure...
If you miss adventure, you miss all.
If your life is not that of an adventurer,
of a search into the unknown,
then you are living in vain.

Osho, 1931-1990 (Adapted)

Indian Spiritual Leader

Love Poem

Love Poem by Paul Zimmer In southern France live two old horses, High in the foothills, not even French, But English, retired steeplechasers Brought across to accept an old age Of ambling together in the Pyrenees. At times they whinny and kick At one another with impatience, But they have grown to love each other. In time the gelding grows ill And is taken away for treatment. The mare pines, pokes at her food, Dallies on her rides until the other Comes home.                         She is in her stall When the trailer rumbles Through the gate into the field, And she sings with impatience Until her door is opened.                                              Then full Of sound and speed, in need of Each other, they entwine their necks, Rub muzzles, bumping flanks To embrace in their own way. Together they prance to The choicest pasture, Standing together and apart, To be glad until They can no longer be glad. "Love Poem" by Paul Zimmer, from Crossing to Sunlight Revisited. © University of Georgia Press, 2007

About Charlotte's Web Creator

It's the birthday of the writer E.B. White (books by this author), born Elwyn Brooks White in Mount Vernon, New York (1899). He started publishing essays when he was in his mid-20s. He said: "I had done a great deal of writing, but I lacked confidence in my ability to put it to good use. I went abroad one summer and on my return to New York found an accumulation of mail at my apartment. I took the letters, unopened, and went to a Childs restaurant on 14th Street, where I ordered dinner and began opening my mail. From one envelope, two or three checks dropped out, from The New Yorker. I suppose they totaled a little under a hundred dollars, but it looked like a fortune to me. I can still remember the feeling that 'this was it' — I was a pro at last. It was a good feeling and I enjoyed the meal."
After publishing some of his essays, The New Yorker decided to hire White as a staff writer, and he wrote for the magazine for nearly 60 years. In 1938, he and his wife — the New Yorker's fiction editor, Katharine Angell — left New York City and moved to a farm on the coast of Maine. There he continued to write essays, and his reflections on farming for Harper's were collected in the book One Man's Meat (1942).

White had 18 nieces and nephews who asked him to tell stories, so he started writing some down to make sure he wouldn't run out of ideas when one of them asked for a story. One day he fell asleep on a train and dreamed about a mouse-boy with human parents — White described him as "the only fictional figure ever to have honored and disturbed my sleep." Inspired by that character, he wrote Stuart Little, whichwas published in 1945. His next children's book, Charlotte's Web (1952), has sold more than 45 million copies. When it was published, Eudora Welty praised it in The New York Times, beginning her review: "E.B. White has written a book for children, which is nice for us older ones as it calls for big type. The book has liveliness and felicity, tenderness and unexpectedness, grace and humor and praise of life, and the good backbone of succinctness that only the most highly imaginative stories seem to grow."

White said: "Children are game for anything. I throw them hard words, and they backhand them over the net. They love words that give them a hard time, provided they are in a context that absorbs their attention. I'm lucky again: my own vocabulary is small, compared to most writers, and I tend to use the short words. So it's no problem for me to write for children. We have a lot in common."

In a letter to his brother, White wrote: "I discovered a long time ago that writing of the small things of the day, the trivial matters of the heart, the inconsequential but near things of this living, was the only kind of creative work which I could accomplish with any sincerity or grace. [...] The rewards of such endeavor are not that I have acquired an audience or a following, as you suggest (fame of any kind being a Pyrrhic victory), but that sometimes in writing of myself — which is the only subject anyone knows intimately — I have occasionally had the exquisite thrill of putting my finger on a little capsule of truth, and heard it give the faint squeak of mortality under my pressure, an antic sound."

The Ways We Love

July 8, 2011The Ways We Love
Choosing to Have a Mate or Be Single


The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves. Some choose to seek out a mate and enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.

Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself. You have more time and space to figure out what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms. Companionship, support, and affection can be found while spending quality time with friends, colleagues, and relatives. There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment. Choosing to have a mate, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person. There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front. When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person t! o so intimately be a part of your life.

Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can transition between wanting to be with another person and wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives. Whether you seek out a mate or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you.

Being single or in a being relationship are both valid options for living life and one is not better than the other.

Stretch and Growing Pains

Bless those who challenge us to grow,
to stretch, to move beyond the knowable,
to come back home to our essential nature.
Bless those who challenge us
for they remind us of doors we have closed
and doors we have yet to open.

Native American Prayer

Attributed to the Navajo Indian Tribe

The Pearl Necklace

The Pearl Necklace

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.
"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"
Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."
As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.
Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."
"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."
"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.
A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver,she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.
He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

What are you hanging on to?

Fatherhood

The midnight feeds,
the nappy changing,
the vomit,
the poo,
the wee,
the bathing,
the bed sharing,
the nightmares,
the monster under the bed,
the monster in the cupboard,
the bedtime stories,
the sleep walking,
the sleepless nights,
the crying,
the screaming,
the terrible twos,
the car sickness,
the dribble,
the learning to ride a bike,
the grazed knee,
the moody princess,
the little soldier,
the homework,
the school project,
the school report,
the parent evenings,
the crazy hobbies,
the Christmases,
the building of toys,
the total disregard for money,
the clothes,
the first love,
the broken heart,
the arm around the shoulder,
the wiping away of tears,
the going out worries,
the driving lessons,
the failing,
the passing,
the parties,
the celebrations,
the university fees..
the happy dad :)

George Sand

It's the birthday of the French novelist George Sand (books by this author), the pen name of Amantine-Lucile-Aurore Dupin, who was born in Paris in 1804. Her father died when she was little, and her mother and grandmother didn't get along. She grew tired of being the "apple of discord" between them, and entered a convent when she was 14. She liked the contemplative life, but her grandmother was worried she would become a mystic, and so she was called home. She first wore men's clothes while horseback riding, at the suggestion of her tutor, and would gallop over the countryside in trousers and a loose blouse, reveling in nature and freedom.

She married the son of a baron at 19, and they had a son and a daughter, but Aurore grew bored with the life of a wife and moved to Paris when she was 27, leaving husband and children behind. She began writing articles to earn money, collaborated on a novel with her lover, Jules Sandeau, and wrote another on her own — Indiana (1832) — under the pen name of George Sand.
She rebelled against the conventional view of womanhood, and she took to wearing men's clothes and smoking cigars in public; she also took many lovers — among them poet Alfred de Musset and composer Frédéric Chopin. Her cause was not political equality for women, but equality in love and the right to behave and choose whom to love, as men enjoyed.