Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Getting Started - Following Through

No matter how intelligent or able you may be, if you don’t have a sense of urgency, now is the time to start developing it. The world is full of very competent people who honestly intend to do things tomorrow, as soon as they can get around to it. Their accomplishments, however, seldom match those of the less talented who are blessed with a sense of the importance of getting started now.


Author Unknown
But Very Much Appreciated!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Dream Your Dreams

What's behind great accomplishments? Inevitably, great people. But what is in those 'great people' that makes them different? It's certainly not their age or sex or color or heritage or environment. No, it's got to be something inside their heads. They are the people who think differently... They are the people 'who will dream dreams and see visions.'


Charles Swindoll (Slightly Adapted)
American Pastor, Author and Educator

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Live for the Moment

“Softly and kindly remind yourself, ''I cannot own anything.''
It is a valuable thought to keep in mind as you struggle to improve your financial picture, worry about investments, and plan how to acquire more and more.
It is a universal principle which you are part of.
You must release everything when you truly awaken.
Are you letting your life go by in frustration and worry over not having enough?
If so, relax and remember that you only get what you have for a short period of time.
When you awaken you will see the folly of being attached to anything.”


By: Wayne Dyer

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Words of Wisdom

“The single most powerful tool for winning a negotiation is the ability to get up and walk away from the table without a deal” TR

“You must know that in any moment a decision you make can change the course of your life forever: the very next person stand behind in line or sit next to on an airplane, the very next phone call you make or receive, the very next movie you see or book you read or page you turn could be the one single thing that causes the floodgates to open, and all of the things that you've been waiting for to fall into place.” TR

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

True Champions

You don't have to win the game or the race to be a champion.
Actually, your only true competition in life is yourself.
If you strive to constantly improve,
to make each day better,
to make someone else's load a little lighter,
and make someone's day a little brighter,
then you will be living the life of a true champion.


Jace Carlton
Creator of the 'Change Your Stars' Website

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

HSP's and Camping - Why I Hate It, Too

Lavender sky:

Actually, I read it a day or so after you posted and expected to see people respond that camping trips were a nightmare for them as HSPs. When no one did I assumed that it was just me that hated camping and maybe it was not an HSP trait. I was wondering how you managed it.

I actually love the outdoors and enjoy hiking and mountain biking, but camping is another story. Here's what I hate about it:

The hassle of figuring out what equipment and food is needed, then getting all of it together and packing itÂ
Coming up with easy to fix meals since almost pre-packaged camping food contains gluten
The hassle of pitching a tent and setting up camp

The hassle of cooking meals over a camp stove or campfire and cleaning up after with no running water
The campfire that aggravates my mold allergies, so that I have trouble breathing at night
Sleeping outdoors in spring or fall, which also aggravates my mold allergies
Trying to sleep on a hard and otherwise uncomfortable surface (I'm a light sleeper at the best of times but also have back and neck issues)
Having to wear earplugs that interfere with my sleep but otherwise risk being kept awake by noise in the campground and a snoring husband one foot away
Trying to avoid getting bitten by bugs and trying to keep them out of the tent
Getting bitten by mosquitoes, chiggers, or ticks, even after having applied bug spray -- I have a special horror of ticks
Having to use a smelly latrine
Having to get up in the middle of the night to use the "bathroom": by the time I've put on some sandals, found the toilet paper and flashlight, unzipped the tent front, put on a jacket if necessary, maneuvered out of the tent opening, zipped it up behind me to keep out bugs, walked over to the latrine or scouted out a place in the woods, and returned to the tent I'm wide awake and often can't get back to sleep
Greeting the morning sleep deprived
Having to get out of bed the next morning when it's cold and dress in the tent while shivering
Not being able to take a hot shower and wash my hair (we camped during the off-season when the bath houses were closed, to avoid the crowds) and having to take sponge baths, especially on chilly mornings
Having to spend the day hiking when sleep deprived
Feeling sweaty and grimy and smelly
Lousy food
Having to pack it all up when it's time to leave, especially a wet, filthy tent and groundcloth when it rained during the night

And those are just the baseline irritations, not even the worst case scenario. The last-straw backpacking trip for me was when we inadvertently scheduled it during a heat wave -- nothing like trudging around in 90 degree heat all day carrying a 25-pound backpack. The first morning we got lost when hiking, by which time I had blisters on my heels and no Band-Aids with me. We were hot and sweaty, so when we found a river we got into it and cool off-- and got eaten alive by mosquitoes. We got ticks. I got stomach cramps and diarrhea. There was a thunderstorm in the middle of the night and our tent flooded, getting us and everything in it drenched.  I no longer go backpacking.

As for the whitewater rafting or tubing, the family reunion trip we took on a challenging river in CO (on which people have actually gotten killed) was no fun for me. I wasn't deemed strong enough to be one of the paddlers so I spent the trip trying to cling to the seat but either getting thrown back against the seats and bruised when in back or drenched and knocked over by freezing, muddy waves when in front. When it was over everyone else was exhilarated but I felt like a drowned rat. Like you, I've been there and done it, don't need to do it again.

We are getting ready to go on a hiking trip, also in bear country (which does worry me a bit). We're staying in a condo, though.
____________ _________ _________ __

Friday, August 12, 2011

Listen to the Dream. . . .

Posted: 12 Auttg 2011 05:27 AM PDT
Listen
To the dream within you.
It’s there
In whatever
Puts stars in your eyes
And makes your heart sing.
Listen
To your feelings,
And you will hear
Who you are
And what you must do.
Listen
To your needs,
And you will know
Where to find
What you are looking for.
Listen
To the wisdom within.
It is trying to lead you
To your destiny.
Listen
To the song in you,
And your life
Will be one of harmony.
You will be
Who you were meant to be.
You will be complete
And at peace
And happier than you’ve ever been,
If only you will
Listen
To the dream within you.
 Copyright ©1996 By Nancye Sims   Fall-in-love

Thursday, August 11, 2011

HSP Notes: HSPs... and Social Media#comment-form

HSP Notes: HSPs... and Social Media#comment-form
Hi Peter,

We met at Menla Mountain HSP Retreat in Oct. 2008. Congratulations to you and your bride on your recent nuptuals! May I be as fortunate! Glad you've created a blog, as now I'll be able to keep in touch a little bit better. Good idea! Take care.

Best wishes,
Phyll

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Marriage of Virginia Woolf

It was on this day in 1912 that the novelist Virginia Stephen (books by this author) married Leonard Woolf, a quiet wedding at the St. Pancras Registry Office.
Leonard Woolf was friends with Virginia's beloved brother, Thoby, who had recently died of typhoid; and also with one of her closest friends, Lytton Strachey. Strachey had proposed marriage to Virginia in 1909, and she had accepted. Strachey was gay at a time when it was illegal to be gay in England, Virginia was hesitant about her sexuality, and they liked and respected each other as intellectual equals. But Lytton quickly changed his mind — he wrote to Leonard: "I was in terror lest she should kiss me" — and Virginia admitted that she didn't love Lytton.

Instead, Lytton campaigned for his old friend Leonard to marry Virginia. Leonard Woolf was stationed in what is now Sri Lanka as a civil servant in the Colonial Service, but when he came home after seven years of service, he reacquainted himself with Virginia and fell in love. He was smart, and a writer, and he knew enough to be cautious with her — they went on walks and talked. He proposed to her in January of 1912, and she didn't accept. But she continued to see him and agonized over why she did not want to get married.

She wrote to Leonard in May of 1912: "All I can see is that in spite of these feelings which go chasing each other all day long when I am with you, there is some feeling which is permanent, and growing. You want to know of course whether it will ever make me want to marry you. How can I say? I think it will, because there seems to be no reason why it shouldn't — But I don't know what the future will bring. I'm half afraid of myself. I sometimes feel that no one ever has or ever shall feel something — It's the thing that makes you call me like a hill, or a rock. Again, I want everything — love, children, adventure, intimacy, work. (Can you make any sense out of this ramble? I am putting down one thing after another.) So I go from being half in love with you, and wanting you to be with me always, and know everything about me, to the extremes of wildness and aloofness.

I sometimes think that if I married you, I could have everything — and then — is it the sexual side of it that comes between us? As I told you brutally the other day, I feel no physical attraction in you. There are moments — when you kissed me the other day was one — when I feel no more than a rock. And yet your caring for me as you do almost overwhelms me. It is so real, and so strange. Why should you? What am I really except a pleasant attractive creature? But its just because you care so much that I feel I've got to care before I marry you. I feel I must give you everything; and that if I can't, well, marriage would only be second-best for you as well as for me. If you can still go on, as before, letting me feel my own way, as that is what would please me best; and then we must both take the risks. But you have made me very happy too. We both of us want a marriage that is a tremendous living thing, always hot, not dead and easy in parts as most marriages are. We ask a great deal of life, don't we? Perhaps we shall get it; then, how splendid!"

At the end of May, Virginia had made up her mind; she told Leonard that she loved him and wanted to marry him. She sent a letter to her friend in which she misspelled her future husband's name and said, "I am going to marry Leonard Wolf — he is a penniless Jew." But her sister Vanessa thought they seemed happy.

Virginia was overwhelmed by Leonard's large Jewish family, who lived in Putney, a suburb of London. She wrote: "Work and love and Jews in Putney take it out of me." When she and Leonard did get married, his family was not invited — it was a small and simple wedding, but of course they were still offended.

The wedding had been originally planned for August 12th but it was moved to August 10th to suit the schedule of Virginia's sister and brother-in-law, Vanessa and Clive Bell. The ceremony was at the registry office, and several things went wrong. There was a bad thunderstorm. The registrar couldn't see very well and kept stumbling over parts of the service, especially over the names Virginia and Vanessa. Then, in the middle of the service, Vanessa interrupted to say that she had a question: She remembered that she would like to change her son's name, and she wondered how to legally do so. They made it through the ceremony eventually, and Virginia Stephen became Virginia Woolf.

After the ceremony, the Bells hosted a midday wedding breakfast. Virginia's half-brothers were there, George and Gerald Duckworth, dressed in their finest; as well as Roger Fry, Vanessa's lover; and Duncan Grant, soon to become Vanessa's lover. Virginia's aunt Mary attended, as did a couple of other members of the Bloomsbury group — Saxon Sydney-Turner and Frederick Etchells.

That evening the Woolfs set off on a two-month honeymoon through France, Spain, and Italy. They had a wonderful time as companions, and Virginia wrote to a friend: "We've talked incessantly for seven weeks, and become chronically nomadic and monogamic." But she wrote to another friend: "Why do you think people make such a fuss about marriage and copulation? Why do some of our friends change upon losing chastity? Possibly my great age makes it less of a catastrophe; but certainly I find the climax immensely exaggerated. Except for a sustained good humor (Leonard shan't see this) due to the fact that every twinge of anger is at once visited upon my husband, I might still be Miss S."

Another Thought About Not Going to Walnut Hill

Today's "Daily OM" offered profound advice about how little comments, words, positive and negative, can cause big ripples in others' lives.  Such was the case with a big part of my decision not to go to Walnut Hill, this year.  For, the folks who were going to give me a ride back were never kind or friendly.  And, their coolness affected me---adversly.  They wanted me to pay half the gas costs home, even though it meant 8 miles per gallon, pulling a horse trailer, horse, carriage their daughter and dog.  This didn't feel right or fair to me.  Also, the fact that my driving teacher, and others I knew who were going, didn't offer the slightest bit of encouragement or friendliness to me about going or joining them after I got there.

In fact, the only people who did, were the ones getting paid for something:  the bed and breakfast couples (all 3 sets---two in Erie and one in Fairview, NY) and, of course, Greyhound Bus representatives and anyone I was dolling out dollars to.  They were decent.  But, all the others were totally cool if not cold to me.  And, that affected my decision.

Why does it have to work that way, often, in life?  Maybe "money talks", but kindness speaks volumes.

August 10, 2011
A Virtuous Cycle

The Ripple Effect
The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make affect the whole.

In a world of over six billion people, it’s easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.

Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love and kindness.

Sometimes It's Better to Just Stay Home

This week is the 40th anniversary of the biggest and best carriage-driving show in the country:  Walnut Hill.  I'd wanted to go so badly, as I went in 2008 and loved every minutes of the wide array of ponies, horses, carriages, costumes, pomp and circumstance and MUCH more.  Yet, try as I may (and I DID try hard!) my transportation there and back was always a problem.

My driving teacher, Anita, was going but didn't have room in her truck for me.  Other clients of hers were driving there, too, but also said they didn't have room.  One couple said I could ride back with them but wanted to charge me a full 50% of their milege costs ($82) that included pulling their horse trailer, horse, carriage, costumes, daughter and dog and got 8 miles per gallon.  Somehow, that didn't "feel" right or fair to me.

The bus was a good option but would take hours of travel plus, sometimes long, layovers and require me to stay overnight, each way, in Erie with strangers.  Somehow, while do-able, it also didn't "feel" comfortable to me.  So, when I awoke this morning and was hit with the following article, bam, on my computer screen the minute I sat down to check e-mails, it was a fate d'acompli.  I decided not to go this year.

Hopefully, there'll be a 41st Walnut Hill, and I'll be able to find someone to go with and enjoy the festivities.  But, for now, I'll stay home.  And, if there's not, then I'll have the magnificent memories of 2008 when John Henry, the beloved and famous mule, strutted his stuff in a darling country farm wagon and, Walnut Hill founder, Bill Remley helped me find a wonderful bed and breakfast & chatted with me, every day, at the show. Both gone, now.  Too short lived and too fast passed.  And, I'll always have my Smilebox musical medley with dozens of photographs depicting all the color, carriages and comraderie I experienced under clear skies and full moons of yesteryear.  A place I can travel to, safely, anytime I desire. . .

The deadliest month on the road

The chances of dying in a car crash are greatest in August, when more Americans are killed while driving than at any other time of the year.

Image: Car accident © Robert J. Bennett, age fotostock
The Fourth of July may be the most hazardous day on U.S. roads, but Aug. 1 kicks off the deadliest month of the year for American motorists.
According to National Highway Traffic Safety Administration records going back to 1994, more Americans die in car crashes in August than at any other time of the year. Though the number of people killed in U.S. crashes in August 2009 dropped by almost 400 from 2008, 2,864 still died during the month. (The total for 2010 isn't yet available.)
The traffic safety agency reports that per 100 million miles traveled, August has an average fatality rate of 1.09, compared with 1.08 for September, the second-deadliest month, and 0.94 for March, the safest month. July, at 1.04, is the third-deadliest.

In 2009, the agency says, an average of 93 people died each day in U.S. motor vehicle crashes -- an average of one death every 16 minutes. And according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, from 2005 to 2009, seven of the 25 deadliest days overall occurred in August.
The odds of a fatal crash increase in August "because more people are out on the road driving more miles than other times of the year," says Russ Rader, a spokesman for the institute.

The deadliest day and the safest day

For the same reason, the deadliest days are on the weekends. Since that's when Americans tend to run extra errands, visit family members or take more day trips, and when drunken driving increases, it's no surprise that weekends are a more dangerous time to be on the road.


Saturdays have the most crash-related fatalities, with Saturdays in 2009 averaging 123 deaths a day nationwide, according to insurance institute data. Sundays were the second-deadliest in 2009, with an average of 107 deaths, followed by 102 on Fridays.
By contrast, Tuesday is the day you're least likely to die in a crash, with an average of 69 fatalities occurring each Tuesday.
The rest of the daily averages:
  • Mondays, 79 deaths.
  • Wednesdays, 78.
  • Thursdays, 84.

The deadliest and safest days of the week

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety says 32% of crash deaths occur between 3 and 9 p.m. But the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has narrowed down the deadliest hours to between 6 and 8:59 p.m. That's when more than four people die each hour, according to the traffic safety administration.
"A large proportion of crashes happen in late afternoon and early evening in general, but especially in August," Rader says. That's when the roads fill up both with commuters and vacation drivers."
It's no surprise that from 3 to 5:59 a.m., when most people are snuggled in their beds, is when the fewest deadly crashes occur. But that doesn't mean it's entirely safe on the roads: A little less than an average of two people die each hour.
The morning commute is only slightly more deadly, still averaging between two and three deaths per hour between 6 and 8:59 a.m.

Middle of the day, middle of the road

The insurance institute says 23% of all U.S. crash-related deaths -- an average of three per hour -- occur between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m.




One reason for the nation's death rates: Despite decades of safety campaigns, millions of motorists don't always buckle up. For example, less than half of drivers and passengers between ages 13 and 54 use seat belts, according to numbers crunched by the traffic safety administration.
"If everyone buckled up on every trip, we would sharply reduce the number of fatal crashes that we expect to happen this summer," Rader says.

Who's most likely to die in an accident?

According to the insurance institute, 33,808 people were killed in crashes on U.S. roads in 2009:
  • Ages 13 to 15 constituted 2% of all traffic deaths.
  • 16 to 19, 9%.
  • 20 to 34, 31%.
  • 35 to 49, 23%.
  • 50 to 69, 22%.
  • 70 and up, 12%.
Children under age 13 accounted for less than 1% of traffic deaths, which can be attributed to the increased use of infant and child safety seats in recent decades. In 1975, 8% of all traffic deaths involved kids under 13.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

About Anne Fadiman (1953)

"Essays, for me," she told the U.K.'s Guardian, "provide for the writer a chance to move into the sort of leisurely, slightly hedonistic mode that, in the 21st century, has become a luxury."
She remains a great lover of books, telling the Guardian, "I am very grateful to the electronic world for making my life easier, but there is something about holding a book — the smell and the world of association. Even when e-books are perfected, as they surely will be, it will be like being in bed with a very well-made robot rather than a warm, soft, human being whom you love."

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Walnut Hill - Remembering Bill Remley

Remembering Bill Remley
2010 brought many heavy hearts to the grounds of Walnut Hill Farm. However, the friends and family of Bill Remley did not mourn alone.  Bill's life and work touched people not only in Pittsford New York, not only the city of Rochester, not even simply within the United States.  All over the world people suffered the loss of a friend, a colleague, and a mentor. 

At the time of his passing Bill had earned many titles such as President of the Pittsford Carriage Association, chairperson of the Walnut Hill Carriage Driving Competition, honorary life time director of the Carriage Association of America, as well as a member of the Pleasure Driving Committee.

Bill had been cited throughout his life as a person with a 'thirst for knowledge', he was always learning as well as teaching, and had frequently been awarded the "Who's Who Among America's Teachers Award".  By 2010, Bill had published articles in "Carriage Journal", the "Whip", numerous antique journals, and beside Robert Iannazzi, co-authored "Walnut Hill - a Grand Celebration of the Horse & Carriage." 

Referring to his teaching methods, It was once said that Bill could "take a single idea and create a world from it".  And create a world, he did...

But Bill never thought of himself as a cornerstone of what he built.  He was always giving the credit to those around him.  He gave the credit to the volunteers, and a few key people that he felt really built this event to be what it is today. 

His zest for life, his knowledge, and his laughter, made him many things to many people.  But beyond the 'chairperson' titles, the runaway ponies, the rainstorms in the middle of a pleasure class, all of his teachings and articles, his family always came first.

As a loving husband, and a wonderful father, he created an entire world from just a single idea.

In Loving Memory
Bill Remley
1940-2010